2.13 — “Time Squared”
Plot: Picard has a rough morning when, in the middle of deep space, the Enterprise detects a lone shuttlecraft. They bring it in by tractor beam, only to find that the shuttlecraft is already on board, and contains Captain Picard, who is already on the bridge. Conundrum! This Captain Picard never speaks, which is essential, because if he did, someone would probably ask him what’s going on, and the whole buisness would fall apart. Inspection of the shuttlecraft logs reveals that it is from six hours in the future, and also that the Enterprise will be destroyed with all hands except Picard in three hours. What to do?
Thoughts: Muddle through, apparently. I have to call bullshit on this episode. Nothing in this epsiode happens for a reason. They keep it low key, but this episode actually makes less sense than TOS 1.27, “The Alternative Factor.”
For starters, stumbling on a lone shuttlecraft in space is considerably less likely than happening upon a tiny life raft in the middle of an ocean. Other dialogue establishes that the shuttlecraft cannot travel at warp speed, and no known force can propel it so fast. Yet here it is, at least two hours by warp speed away from the anomaly. For no reason.
In the briefing room we have some of the most fatuous dialogue ever written, designed to present a paper-thin pretext for nobody to do anything. Riker says “Well, I know this much. We can’t avoid the future,” and instead of laughing hysterically at him, Picard says “Agreed.” His next words are telling: “Something is waiting for us out there. Let’s try and determine what it is, as quickly as possible.”
I read a great guide for new writers once linked through Robin Hobb’s website in which the author explained why so may science fiction stories start with the protagonist waking up in a featureless white room with no idea what is happening. This is because that is the exact same state that an uninspired author is in, staring at a featureless white page, and the author is just describing her own thought process as she flails to write a story. Picard’s dialogue is telling in the same way, because the teleplay author, showrunner and executive producer Maurice Hurley, is plainly hoping that once he time travels to the end of the screenplay, he will learn the answer of what is going on from his future self. This does not quite work out. To keep the story going, Hurley actually resorts to the last refuge of desperate DMs–blue bolts from Heaven.
It’s nice that Pulaski and Troi have a scene together, but they fail the Bechdel test by talking about PIcard the whole time.
I thought this episode was going to be good, because “Babylon Squared,” which would air five years later, is one of the best Bab5 episodes. I agree with Ronald D. Moore, who is quoted by Memory Alpha as describing the episode as “so ponderous. They agonize about what to do the whole show. All right, already!”
And, after diving through the magic whirlpool in space, everything is back to normal as if nothing happened. That’s it? Are they trying to lull us to sleep with this stuff? I think we’re supposed to just watch and go “Dude. Cool. I’m going to get some ice cream” and forget it, like an anonymous sitcom episode. That this script came from TNG’s first and second season showrunner says everything about what’s wrong with the series at this point. Also that he thoughtlessly and gratuitously has Worf state during dinner party scene, “It is my understanding that in most human families, the woman shares in the cooking.” Why is this guy supervising a show about the future?
Warp 2 out of 6 again, I guess, for making me almost but not quite fail to notice that the mystery has no solution.
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