1.21 — “The Arsenal of Freedom”
Plot: The Enterprise flooshes to the Lorenze Cluster to investigate the loss of the USS Drake, and apparent extinction of all intelligent life on the planet Minos (which they treat cavalierly). An automated message greets them, played by the fabulous Vincent Schiavelli, and delivers a sales pitch for advanced weapons. Riker, Yar, and Data beam down to the planet, but are quickly ambushed by weaponized robot drones. Picard and Dr. Crusher also beam down and are swiftly trapped in a hole, leaving Geordi in command of the ship as it is attacked in orbit.
Thoughts: This episode is horrible, horrible, horrible. The good news is that It achieves a level of laugh-out-loud awful at points, providing at least some entertainment value.
The premise of a spaceship approaching a dead planet and being greeted by an automatic message which proceeds to launch deadly weapons at the ship is, of course, lifted directly from the climatic scene above Magrathea in Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979). No credit to the writers, who already cannibalized this plotline in 1.3, “The Last Outpost.” Perhaps I shouldn’t complain too hard, since the best moments of the episode involve Vincent Schiavelli talking.
Did you catch the look RIker gave Picard after the brown-nosing line “At the time I thought it would be more advantageous for me to do a tour on the Enterprise?” Yuck.
Given the immediate trouble that the away team gets into, I have to ask why they don’t just use drones for planetary exploration. The away team is looking for nothing but trouble, anyway. The writers’ imagination is no bigger than the soundstage.
Wikipedia says the robot attack drone was made out of a pantyhose container and a shampoo bottle. Yep, that sounds right. Each time it comes back it has tougher defense system–but they sure don’t invest much in aiming technology.
Once Picard and Crusher have beamed down to the planet for no apparent reason, the planet demonstrates its superior weapon technology by attacking them with–a concealed pit! Devious! Although it’s a hard armament to ship offworld. Picard is completely unhurt, but Crusher is bleeding out from extensive lacerations! Caused by her fall! Which makes her want to go to sleep! That makes perfect sense. If you’re feeling drowsy, poke your mangled legs for a second. That should wake you up effectively.
Picard and Crusher’s communicators are disabled, but they can’t just yell for help? There is an open hole 11 and a half feet above you, and it’s a small soundstage. Sore throat? Luckily, the set dresser provided plenty of convenient vines, in case Picard wants to just climb out.
The dialogue in the hole goes nowhere (according to the Internet, the writers wanted to turn this into a love scene, but Gene Roddenberry vetoed it, causing a series of frantic rewrites), until Picard handily finds the global planetary control panel a whole three feet away from where he is already standing. This episode makes TOS 3.17, “That Which Survives,” which contains a similar scene, look bloody brilliant.
Back in space, Geordi faces off with the ridiculous Mr. Logan, who can’t make up his mind about whether Geordi should abandon the Captain (“You must! Wait, no, you can’t!”). Then–we achieve saucer separation! Wowzers!
The resolution in which Picard agrees to buy the technology is something I saw coming a mile away. Why the planet doesn’t then call off its attack on the ship I don’t understand. This plot twist could have been offered with many more interesting complications. What if the price was something the ship couldn’t afford? Why not explore the quandry of being forced to give in to what is essentially a protection racket? Instead, there are no consequences. Sigh.
This is the second time, after 1.12, “Datalore,” that TNG has cheerfully used the near-fatal wounding of Dr. Crusher as a plot MacGuffin, only to lose interest in her character’s plight so quickly as to leave her out of the final act of the show entirely. Her subplot is disposed of, again, with a brief line of dialogue about her being attended to in sickbay, while the apparently more important characters go about their business on the bridge. No respect—which explains why Picard still isn’t familiar with basic facts about Crusher’s history, like what planet she grew up on.
There are five characters that describe what should become of this episode: M-S-T-3-K. After all, Crow already made a cameo as the robot drone. Grade: Faaaaaiiiillll.
I have my opinion, but I’ve heard at least a couple people say that they have good memories of this episode–which probably plays better if you aren’t thinking right off the bat “They just stole this plot from HHG!” What did you think?
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